Goodbye Forever Read online

  ‘Rich, I told you no.’

  ‘And I told you Kit can help you.’

  Kit’s dad Mick would have called it a set-up, in this case a ploy to drag her into Richard’s most recent attempt to fix someone’s life the way he wished someone would fix his.

  ‘Sorry.’ Kit backed away so fast she nearly tripped over a display of pumpkins. ‘Richard, I have to run.’

  ‘Wait. I just want to introduce you two. Sarah is Jessica’s mother.’

  So this was the woman who had kept Richard’s niece from him for more than fifteen years. She didn’t look vindictive – just scared. ‘I can’t help someone who doesn’t want help,’ Kit said.

  ‘That would be me.’ The woman shook her head, and her earrings almost brushed her shoulders. ‘You shouldn’t have done this, Rich. You have no right.’

  ‘I have every right.’ He moved closer to her. ‘I’m your daughter’s uncle. You and Kit need to talk.’

  The woman glared again, and Kit reminded herself that her job at the radio station was already stressful enough, especially now that she and Richard were trying to figure out a way to get back together. Still, she wanted to be polite. ‘Nice meeting you, Sarah.’ She put out her hand. Sarah didn’t take it.

  ‘Jessica disappeared Thursday.’ Richard placed his paper cup back on the tray.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ Kit said. Stop talking, her dad would tell her right now. Just shut your mouth or you’ll be buying into the problem.

  ‘I already spoke to the police,’ Sarah said.

  ‘Sounds as if you’ve got it handled,’ Kit replied in a fake-cheerful voice.

  ‘I do,’ she said right back.

  ‘Besides, my blog and the radio segment focus on only old, unsolved cases.’

  ‘Right. That leaves me out.’

  ‘There’s something else, though,’ Richard said. ‘Over the last couple of years, at least one other girl has gone missing from the apartment complex where Sarah lives.’

  ‘How many?’ Kit asked.

  ‘I’m not sure, but you can find out, Kit. Farley can help.’ Richard opened the vegan cheese container again. ‘So can that ex-cop who’s working with you now.’

  ‘John Paul has other cases he’s interested in,’ Kit said. ‘And Sarah has already made it clear she doesn’t want me involved.’

  ‘Don’t talk about me as if I’m not here.’ Sarah slammed the tray on the counter, and the one remaining cup of fruit bounced to the ground. They both ignored it.

  ‘You haven’t exactly been forthcoming,’ Kit said.

  ‘Because I don’t want my private life used as entertainment for your radio audience.’

  ‘Farley and I do a lot of good on that show.’ Kit glanced at Richard. ‘Surely you know about what happened with my biological mother?’

  ‘Yes, and I get that you haven’t had an easy time of it. But you don’t have kids of your own, do you? You have no idea what I’m going through.’

  That did it.

  ‘I’m not inhuman, Sarah. I know how scared you must be.’

  ‘That’s not how you’re acting.’ Her dark eyes filled with tears. ‘I keep thinking I should have done something, paid closer attention. I never thought Jessica would just take off without talking to me. I just never dreamed it.’

  ‘If another girl also disappeared from the apartment complex, maybe Jessica didn’t take off willingly,’ Kit said.

  ‘But who would harm her? Why?’ She reached down like a woman in a trance, picked up the plum slices from the grass, and placed them into the trash can.

  ‘Somebody knows something,’ Kit told her. ‘I understand that you think the radio show would violate your privacy, but if I put something – even a small mention – in my blog, someone might come forward. I’m no substitute for law enforcement, and I’m not pretending to be.’

  ‘Kit does have a following,’ Richard finished. ‘Can you see now why I wanted you to talk to her?’

  ‘I know you’re probably trying to do the right thing,’ Sarah said, ‘but I’m scared. There has to be something else going on here. For all I know, she’s in some kind of trouble.’

  ‘Another reason you need to find her right away.’ Kit saw surrender in Sarah’s face and realized she had just convinced the woman to share her story.

  Richard lifted the queso cup and something that looked like a potato chip. Kit took a bite and had to admit the taste was starting to grow on her. At his strongest, this man could convince her to attempt any task, regardless of how hopeless.

  ‘So,’ she asked him. ‘If I look at this cashew patty long enough, will it turn into a cheeseburger?’

  For the first time, Sarah attempted a smile. ‘Jessica left a note,’ she said in a harsh whisper. ‘The police have the original. This is a copy.’

  ‘Could I see it?’

  She pulled a folded piece of paper out of her black handbag. ‘It’s her handwriting. Jessica’s.’

  Kit took it from her and studied the note. Just a few words, neatly written.

  I love you.

  Goodbye forever.

  TWO

  I have a place, Jessie, and I have a plan.

  Jessica had never forgotten those words. They had kept her going through all kinds of hell. Now, as she sat at the counter of the Mexican restaurant, Jessica willed herself invisible. She had perfected that skill, a shutting down of self, a dimming of perceptions. Gray, inside and out. Background noise blended to a hum. She pulled the navy watch cap below her ears. Hair the cartoon color of hers attracted attention. Paranoia, Lucas would say, and had said when he was only eleven, and she was fourteen. Pay attention to it. No reason to advertise herself, especially when she was this close to freedom.

  ‘Miss?’ Jessica looked up at the woman on the other side of the counter. ‘Are you all right?’

  ‘I’m meeting someone,’ she replied in a precise, staccato way that discouraged further questions.

  ‘Can I get you something?’ The black-haired woman, her soft skin lined with thin shadows that would soon be wrinkles, placed a red-plastic woven basket of tortilla chips in front of her. The heat lifted from them to Jessica’s cheeks. God, she was hungry, but she couldn’t spend her last dollars on anything until she knew she’d be back with the others.

  ‘Just waiting for my friend.’

  ‘On the house.’ The woman went to the end of the counter and came back with a bowl of salsa. ‘I make it myself.’

  Jessica gazed down at the chips dusted with chili powder. Their scent made her mouth water. ‘No, thank you.’

  ‘Eat, child.’

  The woman’s apron was a disgusting shade of green, a cross between lime and moss that only accentuated her rotund shape. Rotund shape? That sounded like something Lucas would say, as if being geographically closer to him brought her closer to his mind. If he were here, he’d devour this woman’s free food and compliment her on her parrot earrings and matching fuchsia lipstick. Take advantage, he would say. Take what you can before they try to take you.

  Yet he had brought her a blanket that night in Weaver’s cage. He risked his own safety to protect her.

  Jessica lifted a chip from the basket, dipped it into the chunky sauce, and chewed it slowly. The flavors melted into her mouth, hot and sweet and so satisfying that, even as she chewed, she reached for another.

  The woman smiled. ‘That’s more like it.’

  ‘Hey, Jessie.’

  A hulk of a guy in jeans, his hair cut close to his head, settled on to the stool beside her. She glanced over. Ike had grown both up and out. No more shaved head. No more black barely-there beard. In his red-and-gray jacket with ‘Bulldogs’ printed across the front, he could easily pass for a jock or at least a fan of whatever team sport folks got off on around here.

  ‘I go by Jessica now, Ike. Good to see you. I’ve been waiting awhile.’

  ‘A lot of trucks on the highway tonight.’

  ‘The ninety-nine is always slow on Sunday,’ the woman behind the cou
nter said. ‘Everyone heading south toward Los Angeles. Would you like menus?’ Her eyes registered the expected answer, even before Ike spoke.

  ‘Thanks, but we have to get going.’ He grabbed a chip, dragged it through the salsa like a spoon, and expertly shoved the whole thing into his mouth. ‘Ready, Jessie?’

  ‘Jessica.’ She didn’t budge.

  ‘Jessica, right.’

  She could feel the woman watching her, as if trying to make sure this was consensual. As a couple, they didn’t match. Ike was brought into the group for his loyalty and brute strength, as Lucas had pointed out from the start. Though tall for a woman, Jessica must have looked far more delicate than she was. Lucas didn’t want her here for her height, though. He wanted her because of her brain and because they were like the siblings neither of them had ever had. That alone was reason enough to be sitting in this sad little restaurant with this slow-witted animal.

  ‘Ready?’ she asked.

  Ike grabbed another chip. ‘Whenever you are.’

  ‘Let’s go, then.’

  They rose from their stools as the woman openly watched. Jessica dug into her bag, took out her last five-dollar bill, and placed it on the counter.

  ‘Goodnight.’ She met the woman’s astonished gaze and gave her a smile. ‘And thank you.’

  Once they walked into the quiet, cold air outside the restaurant, Ike said, ‘That wasn’t smart.’

  ‘Like you’d know smart?’

  ‘Leaving that money, I mean. Lucas says we can’t do anything to draw attention to ourselves.’

  ‘You think taking free food wouldn’t? I had to pay the woman.’

  ‘Not trying to argue.’ He opened the door of the truck, and she climbed in. ‘I’m just pointing out what Lucas says. Come on. Let’s get in the vehicle.’

  ‘Do you think I really care what Lucas says?’ She slammed the door. ‘And why do you call it a vehicle? Are you trying to sound like a cop or something?’

  ‘It’s the way I talk.’ He took his time coming around to the driver’s side. Once he got in, he turned to her. ‘I don’t think Lucas would be too happy to hear what you think of him.’

  ‘Do not presume you know one thing about my friendship with Lucas, Second Year.’

  ‘Wait just one minute.’ He warmed up the truck and began driving. ‘We’re here so we can finally have the freedom to be ourselves, remember? We don’t judge each other, Jessie … Jessica.’

  ‘No, we don’t, so let’s get going, all right?’

  As the truck moved into the field and its narrow dirt road, she knew that she would have to make this trip several times before she could find her way. After weaving through dead vines, Ike parked alongside a tractor that was mostly rust.

  ‘We’ll have to walk the rest of the way,’ he said. ‘We’ve got a golf cart on the compound, but no one uses it.’

  ‘Not a problem.’ She slung her bag over her shoulder and was glad she had left almost everything from her past life behind.

  ‘It’s farmland,’ he said. ‘Dried-up now but rough.’

  ‘I said I’m fine with it.’ She forced herself to keep up with him.

  ‘Snakes around here sometimes.’

  ‘Really?’ She was less fine with snakes. ‘Don’t they hibernate in weather like this?’

  ‘Not out here. Foxes too. Lucas swore he saw a bear tear through the compound one night.’

  ‘So,’ she said, ‘is that part of your job? To try to scare the crap out of me before we even get there?’

  ‘Yeah, kind of.’ His grin in the moonlight seemed too innocent for the rest of him.

  ‘Why?’

  ‘The part about the bear is true,’ he said. ‘At least, Lucas claims he saw one. Something sure tore the place up.’

  ‘Ike.’ She stopped, as much to take a breath as anything else. ‘Whatever is out here, I can deal with, I promise you. Remember, I am one of the Originals.’

  ‘So am I.’ He stopped too, and, even in the dim light, sweat shone on his forehead.

  ‘There are only six of us.’ She counted them off on her fingers. ‘Wyatt, Theo, Angel, Sissy, Lucas, and me.’

  ‘Seven.’

  ‘Lucas let you in the following year.’

  Neither one of them spoke, and she knew Ike was remembering why Weaver had been forced to call off that second-year study. She glanced down at Ike’s thick black gloves. He yanked them off and shoved them in the pocket of his jacket. The raised strips of scarred flesh on the back of his hands matched her own.

  ‘Lucas says I’m an Original, and that’s good enough for me.’ He took off ahead of her.

  ‘Fine, but just don’t be trying to terrorize me before I’m settled in. We made a vow to stick together, and if you’d been a First Year, you’d know that.’

  ‘I do know it, Jessica, but it had to be this way.’

  ‘If you say so. We’re all on the same side now. How much longer?’ she asked him.

  ‘Right over here.’ He pointed. ‘Look.’

  Through the skeletal vines, she spotted a clearing dotted with small structures. She breathed in chilled air blended with smoke – not the dangerous kind, but fragrant wood smoke that came from logs on a fire. The compound.

  ‘It really does exist?’ she said. ‘He didn’t make it up?’

  Ike stomped ahead of her, and branches cracked beneath his boots. ‘If you thought that, why did you come?’

  ‘I knew Lucas had something out here, and I believed his grandfather really had owned vineyards. But I didn’t know … I wasn’t sure there’d be real houses.’

  ‘Four,’ he said. ‘If you count my tree.’

  ‘You live in a tree?’ she asked.

  ‘A treehouse.’ He folded his awkwardly thick jacket sleeves as if trying to protect himself from more than the cold. ‘Someone has to keep watch.’

  ‘Are we in any danger here?’ she asked. ‘I mean, no one would think of looking for all of us in one place, right?’

  ‘That is highly unlikely,’ he said. ‘It’s just best to play it safe, not take chances.’

  ‘Agreed.’ She hurried to catch up with him.

  As the compound came into view, Jessica realized that it was everything Lucas had promised. Someone had built three small houses where no one would ever look for them. Even if one did look, no way could they spot this one-time hippie commune with vines surrounding it from all sides.

  The temperature seemed to drop as they approached.

  ‘I’m cold,’ she said.

  ‘He has a wood stove in the unit.’ Ike went ahead and opened the door for her. ‘Before me, please.’

  ‘Someone must have taught you some manners.’

  ‘Maybe once. These days, Lucas teaches me all I need to know. Inside, please.’

  She stepped in and followed the stinging smell of wood smoke to a squat black stove in the kitchen. Next to it, Lucas stood, lifting a coffee mug to his lips.

  Still short, he was no longer the brainy little kid who had commanded them around the Weasel’s camp before they could make sense of who they were or what they believed. His hair, darker blond now, had been gelled to give him an illusion of height. When he saw her, he placed the cup on the counter and smiled. The cold inside here was nothing compared to what she had felt in Weaver’s cage. Lucas had told her the truth that night. He did have a plan, and he did have a place.

  ‘Finally.’ The real power – what had differentiated Lucas from all of the older guys back then – was his voice: clipped, almost British, and by its very softness, its politeness, full of authority. He put the mug on the sink and took both of her hands in his. ‘Welcome home, Jessica. I’ve missed you.’

  She squeezed his fingers. ‘Oh, Lucas, I am so glad to be here. How’d you know I dropped that horrid nickname?’

  ‘Jessie was fine, but Jessica is beautiful,’ he said. ‘You must be starving. Pizza’s on the way.’

  Just then a pale blond girl came through the back carrying two large boxes. Jessica in
haled the scent, and her stomach growled.

  Lucas smiled at her, took a box, and put it down on the long wooden table. To the girl, he said, ‘Take that one to the others, Sissy. We won’t need anything else tonight.’

  ‘Sissy?’ Jessica hadn’t recognized her.

  She seemed to pause for a moment, studying Jessica, and then, without a word, she left through the same door.

  ‘She hasn’t changed,’ Jessica said.

  ‘She can talk when she wants to.’ Lucas opened the box and handed Jessica the first slice. Ike hovered next to her like a dog.

  ‘Pineapple and Sriracha,’ Jessica said. ‘That’s my favorite. How did you know?’

  ‘Lucky guess.’ He motioned to Ike. ‘Help yourself, friend. After you eat, show Jessica to her room. Tomorrow, we’ll all meet here for coffee.’

  Ike dove into the pizza, and Lucas headed for the door. ‘I have to take care of some business tonight,’ he told her. ‘You rest, Jessica. Everything’s OK now.’

  ‘Thank you.’ Exhausted, she couldn’t express more than gratitude and a need to fall into a warm bed for a very long time. Now she would be able to sleep without fear of being caught and taken back to that crazy woman and the nightmare she had lived for too long. Not just on the streets either. Now she could be with those who shared her gifts and her demons too, even though theirs were different. That’s what family was all about – being different together, being free.

  ‘Jessica?’ Lucas stopped at the door. ‘One more thing.’

  ‘What’s that?’

  ‘Too bad the weather didn’t cooperate, but I was hoping you’d wear that pink swimsuit.’

  Heat filled her cheeks. ‘How?’ She nearly choked on the pizza. ‘How could you possibly know about that?’

  He looked back at her with that serious, straight-lipped expression that hadn’t changed in three years. ‘I have to look out for my people.’

  THREE

  Jessica’s note had struck Kit with its simplicity and absolute lack of sense. How could anyone write both of those sentences in one message? I love you meant forever, or at least it should. So where did the goodbye part come in?