Goodbye Forever Read online

  ‘Let’s get out of here,’ she told Farley.

  ‘Can’t we just have lunch?’ he said. ‘I don’t want to deal with the rain, and to be honest, I’m not sure I can deal with John Paul right now.’

  ‘Why not? He has to know this case is more important than his cold one.’

  Farley glanced down at the counter.

  ‘What?’ Kit asked. ‘What aren’t you telling me?’

  He lifted his head and met her eyes. ‘John Paul already has Monique on his side,’ he said. ‘She’s pushing for a larger segment for him.’

  ‘Where’d you hear that?’ Kit demanded. ‘From John Paul? You might want to remind him that Monique is only the acting program director.’

  ‘Acting for now,’ Farley said.

  ‘When she’s not drinking wine and visiting art shows. I get that her daddy owns the station, but even he must know how clueless she is.’ Farley seemed to shrink beside her. Heat flooded Kit’s cheeks. This was the last thing she had expected.

  Farley must have read her expression. ‘What?’ he asked.

  ‘On the other hand,’ she said, trying to repair the damage she had done, ‘maybe Monique just needs more experience on the job. In fact, she’s probably very nice once you get to know her.’

  ‘Stop backpedaling.’ Farley gave her an embarrassed smile. ‘I think I mentioned to you that I’m half-ass dating.’

  But with the twenty-one-year-old bimbo whose father owns the station? ‘Right,’ she said. ‘Maybe you can explain to her that John Paul’s case is a cold one, and this one is life-or-death.’

  They both went silent for a moment, as if they were on the radio, dead air louder than anything in the place. Then Kit’s phone dinged. She looked down and read a text from John Paul. More about kids. Call when you can.

  ‘I’m sorry.’ She passed the phone to Farley. ‘I’ve got to talk to him about this now.’

  ‘I’m going with you.’

  ‘You stay here,’ she said. ‘I’ll let you know what he says.’

  Before he could say anything else, she headed for the door. Although she was still trying to get her head around the idea of Monique and Farley, Kit knew that he wouldn’t let her down.

  Besides, if John Paul had a lead, she had to find out what it was. At least the man never changed his patterns. She didn’t need to phone him to know where he would be after his segment.

  The gym reminded her of a bar at midday. A few strangers and part-timers scattered around, and the serious regulars, intent on their heavy lifting, gathered in the back. John Paul stood in front of the wall-wide mirror, clutching a heavy weight with both hands and doing bicep curls next to a tattooed guy who sometimes worked as a personal trainer. Sweat glinted on John Paul’s arms and soaked through the back of his lime-green tank. Dressed like that, intent on the job at hand, he looked like a much younger man.

  He met Kit’s eyes in the mirror, and, without changing expression, lowered his weight to the rack.

  ‘I should know better than to text you when I’m working out, Doyle.’ He picked up a white towel from the bench and wiped it across his forehead.

  ‘But you did text me. What’s going on?’

  ‘I’ll show you.’ He motioned her to the bench behind him and unzipped his bag. ‘I found out something else. Another girl earlier this year. Same note. This time, we have a photo. And names.’ He held out the photograph. ‘That’s Jessica.’

  Kit stared at the three children who stood with forced smiles in front of a backdrop of pine trees. Jessica, who looked about thirteen or fourteen, towered over the other two. Like Richard, she had sharp, fine features and high cheekbones. Her short, multicolor hair was thick and straight. On either side of her stood a little boy and an even smaller blond girl.

  ‘Who are the other two?’

  ‘He’s Lucas Tibbs.’ John Paul pulled a black sweatshirt out of his bag. ‘The little girl is Sissy Purcell. Her mother turned over this photo when Sissy disappeared. The note she had was word for word, just like Jessica’s and the boy from Oregon.’

  Jessica’s eyes, outlined in thick Cleopatra-like kohl, avoided the camera as if staring at a spot just beyond the photographer. Kit knew that look. She knew the feelings behind wanting to disappear, to erase yourself.

  ‘I’m going to find you,’ she told that girl.

  ‘She can’t hear you,’ John Paul said. ‘Besides, taking a case personally almost always leads to trouble. What’s really going on here?’

  Kit hesitated for a moment. She couldn’t keep deceiving him. ‘John Paul,’ she said, ‘I should have told you this sooner. I meant to tell you.’

  For the first time in almost a year, he looked at her with doubt. ‘Then tell me now.’

  ‘Jessica is Richard’s niece – his brother’s daughter.’

  ‘Now I get it.’ He exhaled slowly, glanced out the wall of windows into the streaming rain, and pulled the sweatshirt over his head and then down over his tank. ‘If I had known that, I wouldn’t have shared this with you.’

  ‘What would you have done, then? Just let Jessica stay out there on her own? You know as well as I do where that leads.’

  ‘You don’t have to convince me of the urgency, Doyle. I was going to ask you to help. Now, though, I’ll just keep trying. You and Farley can share the results on the air and on your blog.’

  A polite way of telling her to butt out.

  ‘I want to do more than just talk about this case,’ Kit said. ‘I have to.’

  ‘Didn’t you hear what I just said about personal involvement?’ John Paul reached out for the photo, and she stepped back, knowing if she let him take it, she would be giving up more than just a piece of paper.

  ‘It’s not as if I know the girl.’

  ‘You don’t know Richard’s niece?’ he asked, his hand still out. ‘Come on.’

  ‘We weren’t married when she was born, and he’s seen her only a few times.’

  ‘Why’s it so important to you, then?’

  ‘Because it’s important to him,’ she said. ‘His brother and Jessica’s mother weren’t involved long, and their breakup was so bitter that the woman didn’t want anything to do with the family. Other than that, it’s just like any other case to me.’

  ‘Which is the reason you were talking to that picture of the girl a minute ago?’ He moved closer and lowered his voice. Before she could come up with an answer, he asked, ‘Where’s the mom now?’

  ‘Living here and, until recently, trying to raise a kid alone.’ She stared into his eyes to make her point and added, ‘The way my adopted mother did.’

  ‘My mom too,’ he said. ‘But you’re too close to it, Doyle. Besides, you’re not a cop.’

  Neither are you. She forced herself to stop short of speaking the words, but John Paul cringed as if he heard them. ‘I’ve written about a lot of crime cases,’ she said. ‘I also know that the police don’t have the time to track down every runaway who leaves a weird note.’

  ‘It’s much more than that,’ he said. ‘Jessica got sent to some kind of camp for disturbed kids.’

  ‘Her mother didn’t say anything about that.’ Kit’s mind scrambled as she tried to figure out how she was going to share this with Richard.

  ‘Doesn’t surprise me. It was some kind of tough-love psychiatric study. Parents got a stipend, and the kids were supposed to be helped. That’s where this photo was taken.’

  ‘Tough love?’

  He shrugged. ‘Whatever that means. According to the psychologist Jasper spoke with, though, these kids were young and very disturbed. The doctor is reputable. He’s done a lot of research on kids and antisocial behavior.’

  Kit studied Jessica’s photo again. She didn’t look antisocial or disturbed. She looked as if she were trying to hide something, most of all fear.

  ‘And you were going to ask me to get him to talk, right?’

  He nodded. ‘The doctor wouldn’t take my calls, and I thought you’d have better luck. He’s promoting
the hell out of the success rate of his new program and probably looking for all the free publicity he can get.’

  ‘I can still help you do that,’ she said. ‘What’s his name? Where is he?’

  ‘I can’t.’ He put his bag over his shoulder and headed for the door.

  ‘Wait.’ She caught up with him and forced him to look at her. ‘If you don’t let me at least try to contact this guy, and Jessica turns up dead, how are you going to feel?’

  ‘Don’t,’ he said. ‘I’ve already thought about that.’

  ‘So what’s it going to hurt for me to try, John Paul? What’s the worst thing that can happen? That he will refuse to see me?’

  He sighed and moved the bag to his other shoulder. ‘Odds are that’s exactly what will happen. I just thought it might be worth a chance.’

  ‘It still is,’ she said. ‘If that fails, we just have to think of something else.’

  ‘Oh, no, Doyle.’ He shook his head. ‘If that fails, we have to depend on law enforcement.’

  ‘There’s no time,’ she said. ‘I researched the homeless shelters around here. Wouldn’t that be the first place a runaway would go? Two of them are for teens.’

  ‘Not much of a lead.’ He shook his head. ‘They’re protective of the kids and only call in the law after the fact.’

  ‘I’m not talking about the law, John Paul. We need a way to get inside there and …’ She caught sight of herself in the wall of the mirrors and stopped.

  ‘What?’ he asked.

  ‘Look at me.’ She pointed.

  ‘Not bad.’ He grinned. ‘That jacket looks better on you than it does on me.’

  She looked down and felt her face burn. ‘I’d forgotten you gave it to me,’ she said.

  ‘I gathered that.’

  ‘If it makes you feel better to tease me, go for it. But tell me, how old do I look to you?’ She pulled up her hair and held back her bangs. ‘I still get carded.’

  ‘Don’t even go there, Doyle.’

  ‘Come on, John Paul. I’m almost twenty-seven, but how old would I look to you without makeup, maybe just some pale lip gloss, if you didn’t know my age?’

  ‘I said no, Doyle.’ He turned away from her as if he could make that image of her disappear. ‘No way.’

  ‘I could pass for a homeless kid, an older one, at least. Eighteen, right? Maybe younger.’

  He turned back to her and gave her the scrutinizing cop look she hated. ‘You probably could,’ he finally said. ‘But you won’t know where to go. You could get in a shitload of trouble.’

  She had already thought about that. ‘But I can go places you can’t. You could be my backup, and you could help Farley and me with the story. I know you want more time on the air. This is your opportunity.’

  ‘Not at the expense of your safety,’ he told her. ‘Let’s just concentrate on Doctor Weaver for now.’

  ‘Doctor Weaver.’ She couldn’t help grinning. ‘So that’s his name.’

  ‘Yeah,’ he said. ‘That’s his name.’

  Kit glanced at herself in the mirror again and thought about Richard’s niece alone on the streets. ‘How do I get in touch with him?’

  ‘If I tell you,’ he said, ‘do you promise you’ll give up this crazy idea of yours?’

  ‘All right,’ she told him. For now, she thought.

  FIVE

  Wyatt arrived from San Jose the Wednesday after Jessica. Lucas allowed Jessica to go with Ike to pick him up at the Mexican restaurant. By now, Jessica had caught up on her sleep and eaten the pizzas, burgers, steaks, and pasta dishes that Sissy prepared and they all stole from a high-end grocery store in town. During her short time there, Jessica explored the property with Lucas, met with the others, and marveled that they had carried out the plan flawlessly. If they could do this, they could do anything. With Wyatt joining them, they would be a family again, for as long as they needed each other.

  She had showered in the freezing water that morning and lined her eyes with what remained of her pencil. Wyatt used to think she was pretty; maybe he still would. Maybe, by now, Wyatt had been able to understand what happened that night the way she had. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have come. Otherwise, she wouldn’t have.

  Wyatt stood in the restaurant’s parking lot, hanging on to a large bag and looking up at something that must have caught his attention in the sky. His once tight black curls settled into soft dark hair over his ears.

  Ike huddled into his gray sweatshirt and squinted through the frosty headlights. ‘Dude’s grown,’ he said. ‘Either that, or we got the wrong guy.’

  ‘That’s Wyatt.’ She forced herself to stay in the truck until Ike parked. Then she jumped out and ran toward him. Stopped. Then walked slowly.

  ‘Jessica. Wow, did you ever grow up.’ Wyatt pulled her into his arms and kissed her hard. ‘You’re beautiful, girl.’

  She touched his lips the way she would something tender. ‘I’m glad you’re here. So glad.’ And because she realized she sounded too soft, she added, ‘Did you bring your clubs?’

  He lifted the bag. ‘Knives. I’ve graduated.’

  She felt a shiver and liked it. ‘You said you would. But isn’t it dangerous?’

  ‘Yes.’ He grinned. ‘Let’s go.’

  The three of them shoved into the truck’s seat and drove to the drop-off place. Jessica tried to include Ike in the conversation but understood that he had always been slow to warm up, if he warmed up at all. Once they parked, the three of them walked over the scrub she knew well now.

  ‘Snakes out here sometimes,’ Ike said over his shoulder.

  ‘Hibernating snakes. Bears too.’ Jessica squeezed Wyatt’s arm through his soft sweatshirt and shook her head to let him know not to take any of this seriously.

  Ike shot her a look she couldn’t read. ‘Just trying to warn him.’

  ‘Thanks, brother,’ Wyatt said.

  Ike narrowed his eyes and studied Wyatt for a moment. ‘You’re welcome.’

  As they walked into the darkness, Jessica remembered other situations with the three of them, all trying to be cooler, to be smarter, and ultimately to hide their pain more than the others. As disturbed and scared as they were back then, they might have killed each other if Lucas hadn’t figured out what was really going on and given them a plan, a dream they could believe in. Now they were living it.

  She smiled up at Wyatt and then at Ike. ‘You boys behave. We’re going to have some fun tonight.’

  ‘How many of us are back here?’ Wyatt asked.

  ‘Everyone but Angel.’ She glanced over at Ike and saw his lips twitch upward.

  ‘Some latecomers,’ Ike said. ‘Good people. Lucas is making it happen, man.’

  ‘The only one I hate more than that bastard is the Weasel,’ Wyatt said. ‘That’s the only reason I’m here.’ He put his arm around Jessica. ‘That and you, of course.’

  ‘Lucas is cool.’ Ike pointed. ‘Look over there at all the kids who showed up.’

  The scent of barbecue followed his words.

  ‘Wyatt.’ Lucas stepped out of the shadows in a heavy jacket. ‘It’s about time you got here, man.’

  ‘You’re right about that.’ Lucas extended his arms, but Wyatt stepped back from the hug.

  ‘Time for dinner.’ Lucas glanced at Sissy, who stood a few feet behind him. ‘I’ve even picked out your dessert.’

  ‘I’ve got my own plans.’ Wyatt pulled Jessica close, and she wrapped her arm around his waist.

  ‘Sounds good.’ Lucas turned to Sissy, whose face had gone blank. ‘We probably need dinner,’ he said.

  ‘The barbecue is ready. It’s the closest we can get to the Weasel’s fire pit.’ Sissy started toward the smoldering charcoal and the black, charred structure that held it.

  ‘I was thinking of some grapes to go with the meat.’

  ‘If you want grapes, you go into the cooler,’ she said.

  ‘It can’t hurt you.’ Lucas seemed to toy with her, and Sissy bit her lip as if figh
ting a response.

  ‘Then have Theo go. He doesn’t mind.’

  ‘Theo’s busy.’

  ‘I’m not doing it.’ She glanced over her shoulder as if the cooler were stalking her. ‘We all have our shit to deal with, Lucas. That thing’s mine, OK?’

  ‘Of course,’ he said. ‘I shouldn’t have brought it up. But we are getting hungry.’

  ‘Can I do anything to help?’ Jessica asked.

  Sissy whirled around and gave her the same scathing look again. ‘You do what you came here for, and I’ll do what I came here for.’

  ‘Fine,’ Jessica said. ‘I came here to be reunited with my family. You do whatever.’

  ‘Fine.’ Sissy headed for the barbecue. Ike followed her.

  ‘Jessica didn’t mean anything,’ he said.

  ‘Leave me alone.’ Sissy glanced past Jessica, to the main house. ‘We have company. Please just stop being such an ignorant ass.’

  Ike seemed to fade, as if he believed everything she said.

  ‘Leave him alone.’ Jessica let go of Wyatt and forced Sissy to meet her eyes. ‘Ike’s one of the reasons we even have this place. So am I.’ She tried to think of what Lucas would have said. ‘Get down off your high horse, why don’t you? We’re all friends here. We have to be.’

  ‘And if we’re not all friends?’ Sissy placed her hand on the waist of her long skirt and tilted her hip.

  ‘Then you need to talk to Lucas.’ Jessica looked around but couldn’t spot him. ‘Until you do, let’s try to take care of each other.’ She heard a burst of conversation and looked though the house as new people entered.

  ‘Finally.’ Sissy seemed to freeze like a statue in ice. ‘Now we have options.’

  ‘That’s the point,’ Jessica said. ‘It’s the reason we’re here.’

  Sissy didn’t seem to hear her because she had already rushed to the door, and the strange kids were streaming into the room. Jessica followed her, not only to prove she wasn’t afraid but to see these people who might have once been children with her.

  They laughed, talked, ate. As the night grew colder, they began to reconnect as they once had – easily, without expectation. Ten of them, eleven. Jessica wasn’t sure of anything other than the safety she was experiencing, the first time she had felt this way since that year they all met.